I haven't been very active on here for several months because my 12 yr old boxer, Cody had what mirrors dengerative myelopathy, he lost ALL muscle in his back legs and cannot walk.  Along with that Cody is now incontinent.  I have been very busy with him since this happened, the end of May.  I also had another boy, Casey, he was 9 yrs old this summer.  Unfortunately yesterday morning he went to the bridge.  I still can't believe it and am having a terrible time dealing with it.  He was my healthy one, other than his allergies and some arthritis.  He was my playing machine, he wanted to play constantly, he acted like he was still 6 months old and was ever so quick.  He was the sweetest boy anyone can ask for.  On Wedsnesday he collapsed in the backyard.  I rushed him to the vet where she ran a few tests and took some xrays.  She thought it was a circulatory problem and suggested I take him to an internist.  Off we went the next day, spending about 7 hours there having more tests and xrays taken.  His heart beat was 220 - unbelievable!!! Normal is 90 - 120.  My poor guy was dying in front of me and I didn't even know it.  Before we left they injected him many times with a drug to get his heart rate normal and prescribed some heart meds.  Same ones my Cody is on.  (They did contact my Cody's cardiologists to discuss Casey and I was going to see her on Monday with Casey.) When we got home I made chicken breasts and rice for him and hand fed him.  Gave him his meds and he rested.  I checked on him at 1:30 AM and it seemed as though his heart rate was a little fast but he didn't want to get up to come up to bed.  I checked again at 4AM and his heart was racing. I called the emergency clinic that we were at and then called the emergency clinic where I was going on Monday to see the cardiologists.  I decided to go there and got my boy in the vehicle, at that time he was panting so hard it sounded as though he was running the marathon.  I got to the end of the street and didn't hear him, I stopped the car and ran to the back door and I was losing him.  I went back home where my husband and daughter were waiting in the drive.  My daughter tried CPR on Casey and I tried to jolt his heart to start beating again.  I lost him.  He didn't respond.  I lost my sweet, sweet boy forever.  I am having a real difficult time with this.  I know it's only been 1 day but I miss him so much.  My guys were with me almost 24/7.  I took them everywhere with me.  I spent so much time caring for Cody, changing his wraps, moving him from room to room, waking in the middle of the night many time to change him and move him that I feel my poor Casey didn't get the attention ,  Don't get me wrong though, I did play with him while getting dressed and took him out to throw his ball and played with him in the evening because he wouldn't have it any other way.  He would sit infront of us and bark with a toy in his mouth for us to throw.  He must have had over 100 toys and now I see them everywhere in the house and the yard.  Casey had allergies and was on meds but he would still scratch his ears or chew his paws, so I would buy him toys to play with to distract him from chewing and scratching.  We spent many nights up trying to relieve his itching at times.  I loved my boy so much and he gave me so much for 9 years.  This isn't my first pup that went to the bridge, I have had 5 others (4 of which I had to put down due to illnesses/cancer and 1 died on his own from heart disease).  I loved them all and still miss them and talk a about them but Casey was the healthy one and it was Cody that I expected to go first with being handicapped and having a heart condition for over 1 1/2 yrs.  I was blessed to have had him in my life, I just wish it was longer!

Dear luvmyboxers - I'm so sorry for your loss.  No words can really assuage the pain you're feeling right now, but please know you're not alone.  I had two goldens, Harley and Scout,  that passed away one month apart last year.  Scout was diagnosed with bone cancer, it was on his left leg, last March.  Every day I had to give him pain medicine.  My life revolved around taking care of him, so much so that Harley (and my other dog, Avalanche, a yellow lab) didn't get as much attention.  Not that they were neglected, just didn't get as much as Scout did.  We made the decision to amputate his leg in July, which, of course, meant he needed even more care.  I think Harley and Avalance knew Scout needed the special attention.  They never acted jealous...they loved their brother, too.  On October 12th Harley didn't seem like himself.  I had my husband take him to our vet.  They kept him all day, said they needed to observe him.  When I got off work I went to pick him up.  That's when I got the bad news...he was suffering from hemangiosarcoma...cancer.  Nooooo, I thought.  Not another one of my boys!!  The whole time we were taking care of Scout, Harley seemed healthy.  He didn't exhibit signs of any kind of illness.  All of a sudden (it seemed) he became ill.  He went through a procedure at the vet that day, a procedure to alleviate some pressure that had built up around his heart, and they sent us home with instructions to monitor him and keep him as comfortable as possible.  Cancer is cancer, but hemangiosarcoma is, I think, the worst.  There's no recovering from it...no way to fight it.  Harley died in my car on the way home that same day.  Like Casey, he was the healthy one.  He was still playing and carrying on like normal just days before he died.  I still don't understand...never will.  One month later, Scout had another check-up.  X-rays showed that the cancer had spread to his chest.  Again, there was nothing we could do.  We had to let him go...one month after Harley.  The grief is still with us...it's been a year since Harley passed, almost a year for Scout.  I have their ashes, they're both together in a large urn my mother found for me.

I think Harley passed so that we wouldn't have to bear the pain of having to care for him, and then make the decision to let him go.  I think your Casey did the same for you.  They were the best, weren't they?  Even to their last breath.

So, here's to Casey.  And to Harley and Scout, and to all the other companions out there, whether with us or waiting for us on the Rainbow Bridge.  We love you all and can't wait to see you again.

Best wishes to you and Cody.